


Have I Told You Lately

by Claretgirl16



Category: Holby City
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 16:43:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17083982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Claretgirl16/pseuds/Claretgirl16
Summary: After a prompt via a Berena gif from a nice person on social media this afternoon, who said about me possibly writing something to go along with it, I had a think and this is what I came up with.It's set roughly in the episode The Right Sort Of Animal, but with a few twists and an alternative universe in a few ways, that's all I'm saying!





	Have I Told You Lately

It'd be quite the time lately.  
Quite the few months.  
Or should that be rephrased madness.  
Work.  
Planning.  
Details.  
Arrangements.  
Rearranging.  
Emergencies.  
Late nights.  
Early mornings.  
Sleepless nights.  
Tears.  
Smiles.  
Laughs.  
Tiredness.  
Oh yes madness covered it well.  
And now it was the day, the day of Jason and Greta's wedding.

 

Not exactly what the pair had planned, but well, it seemed that this somehow felt more fitting, doubling up with Dom and Lofty, a joint celebration, a bigger wedding.  
Whilst the atmosphere was a happy and joyous one for the happy couples, things were what's the word, a little....tense, frosty between the two doctors, Serena and Bernie.  
Yeah the blonde trauma surgeon had shown up to surprise Jason on his wedding day, telling the lie of not being able to make it from Nairobi in time if at all, plus not telling Serena anything at all, scraps for three weeks, and Jason was thrilled that his auntie Bernie was here and able to do the reading he'd planned for her at the wedding, but Serena, well that was a little different.

 

Sitting through the short ceremony, Bernie was the one that got up and did the reading which was Jason's special request, he specifically wanted her to do it, her and no one else.  
Whilst she did this, Serena was on the chair next to her cradling a little bundle that was snuffling and occasionally wriggling, this bundle was wrapped up in a cute yellow dress and pair of tights, a blue and white spotted, puffer winter coat, a white hat and little matching white booties, the four and a half month old looking as snug and cute as can be, then settling against her mums shoulder as she found a comfortable spot, not remotely interested in anything going on around her, Esme was quite happy to just snuggle with her mum.

 

All formalities done and finished, Albie's was the next port of call for the wedding parties, Serena not saying much as she carried the little girl alongside Bernie, rejecting the other woman's offer of carrying Esme to give her a break.

 

Entering the venue, Serena immediately headed for one of the quieter corners away from the main bodies of guests, Bernie following her and putting the little girls bag down beside the sofa, both women sitting down, the blonde looking over her partner and their little girl.

 

"Serena if we can't talk then how can anything be sorted?" her eyes not moving from the other woman's.  
"If you don't get in proper contact for three plus weeks then no we can't sort very much" she gave back, a slight cutting tone in her voice, but mostly emotion, her brown eyes portraying a lot of this, enough to make Bernie swallow the lump that appeared at seeing her girlfriends reaction.  
"I wanted it to be a surprise for everyone and if I'd have heard your voice I'd have ended up telling you...".  
"And the rest of the time, you couldn't have found a spare minute, a few seconds, for me, for us..." her eyes moving down to Esme cuddled against her shoulder and then returning to Bernie.  
"I know, I....things just got a bit crazy out there, what can I say?" unable to find the right words that may help her girlfriend or even her explain what's been happening.  
Serena scoffed quietly and shook her head, her nostrils flaring ever so slightly.  
"It's me really isn't it, I'm the reason that you didn't call, you've had your head turned out there, some other younger woman, some attractive other woman, she's had your attention.." Bernie's eyes widening at the statement just put to her.  
"No! Why would you say such a thing?".  
"Because it's how I feel, it's what my mind has thought of. Why would you want me now anymore, I mean with all the added extras now, the stretch marks, the baby weight, the dishevelled way I look, the bags under my eyes, need I continue" her eyes glazing over as tears stung at them, feeling them threatening to fall she dipped her head and nuzzled into Esme.

 

"Serena..." Bernie started rising from the sofa beside her partner and sitting in front of her on the coffee table instead, putting both hands on Serena's thighs and gently squeezing. "Serena please look at me?" pleading with the other woman somewhat, Serena granting her request after a few minutes, light tear tracks on her cheeks, the sight tugging the blonde's heart strings.  
"There's no one else, there never will be, why would there be, I've got everything I could ever want and wish to have right here. You're bloody beautiful, and even more so since we've had Esme, if that's actually possible. The both of you mean everything to me, I love you both so so much" now it was her turn for her eyes to fill up as she spoke from the heart. 

 

"Then why haven't you been in touch, it's so hard sometimes here on my own, it feels like I'm wading through treacle sometimes, and all I want is to be able to see you, to hear your voice, to feel you near me, near both of us, when we decided to try for her it was a joint decision and it was to make us into an even bigger family, I didn't make that decision for me to be doing it all on my own and feeling like this, I don't know how much more I can take Bernie, it's too much, it's all too much" her shaking voice conveying how much she was feeling the strain of all that had happened since they'd had little Esme, and Bernie having had to go back to Nairobi after a month or so.

 

It'd been hard, hard being an understatement truth be told.  
It was hard when two of you were doing it just as a pair, but when you were doing it solo it took its toll, and the odd Skype and phone call, text messages, emails weren't enough after a short while, not enough at all. Some days all Serena had wanted to do was put Esme down for a sleep and curl up with her girlfriend, the physical and emotional comfort of the woman she loved, to be told that she wasn't doing a horrendous job, that she wasn't fat, bloated, unattractive and vile looking compared to every other mum. That her crying at random times was normal and all due to the hormones whizzing around her body, the body that had carried such a perfect little girl, that her partner still found her sexy and wanted her, that her head wasn't going to be turned by some younger, prettier, tanned woman somewhere.

 

It seemed that Bernie's surprise appearance had finally broke Serena's fragile, hormonal and tired resolve.

 

"I wanted to keep this till I got home and saw you, but maybe I shouldn't have done, not when it's caused you this much distress and upset you so much, I never wanted to do this to you, I'd never want to hurt you, either of you. Whilst I was over there I've done a lot of thinking, this long distance work thing, being away from you, from Esme, it's just too much and it's not right, so I made a decision and I've handed my notice in at the NTC, and I've heard that there's a job at St James's in the ED from someone I know there, I'm coming home, home to you both".


End file.
